Cool stuff in medicine

Click this link for a super cool article about a baby being born still encased in its amniotic sack.  Births are cool.  I’ve  attended hundreds of them [mostly c-sections and almost all were totally fine].  Occasionally, I still tear up a bit [you know especially  if the parents do], but I have never seen anything quite like that.

99% of the time, births go on as planned…sometimes a kid comes out too early and ends up in the NICU and sometimes something happens and the baby dies before birth. [I have been to one of these and it was AWFUL…in every way]

Things you should know, but probably don’t want to know

The first edition of things you don’t want to know, but probably should involves the STI gonorrhea.  It used to be if you got THE CLAP, you got a shot of penicillin and all was right with the world [although it’s entirely OK to still be pissed at the person who gave it to you] But bacterial are evolutionary geniuses.  They really know the meaning of take one for the team.  If one of them dies due to antibiotics, their offspring learn from it and move on becoming  better equipped for life and the lives of their children [now aren’t bacteria cuter if you think of them with children].    So without further ado…

(Medical Xpress)—The CDC has issued a report detailing its findings in attempting to trace the increasing difficulty in treating gonorrhea, a sexually transmitted disease (STD) that can cause severe discomfort, serious medical problems (such as sterility) for both genders and in very rare cases, death.

Gonorrhea is a bacterial disease that has been around for thousands of years, if not longer, plaguing human populations. In more recent times, it’s had to evolve to survive as humans learned to treat it using penicillin and otherantibacterial agents. Over the past thirty years in particular, gonorrhea has evolved to the point that there are very few treatments left (ceftriaxone along with either azithromycin or doxycycline) and now, it looks like its poised to get the best of those as well, which will mean those who contract the disease in the very near future will find that doctors have no way to cure them.

To learn more about the evolutionary history of the disease, the CDC looked at data regarding 17 major cities in the United States between the years 1991 and 2006. They found that gonorrhea was more common in cities with low resistance, but ominously, they also found that rates of gonorrhea were rising faster in cities with high resistance. They note that currently, there are approximately 820,000 new cases of gonorrhea each year in this country. The real problem is that there are now so few antibiotics that are able to treat the disease, and while no strains of the bacteria that are resistant to them have been found so far in the United States, the same cannot be said for other countries.

The overriding conclusion of the researchers is that the world is now sitting on the precipice of losing the ability to fight a major bacterial infection. Worse perhaps, is that it may mark the first of many others to come. Gonorrhea infections typically only last for a few weeks or months, in most cases the immune system eventually wins over (after the disease has caused sometimes irreparable damage). The same cannot be said for some other bacterial infections that may also soon become untreatable. For that reason, scientists around the world continue to scramble to find alternatives. In the meantime, the CDC is predicting that the spread of treatment-resistant gonorrhea is imminent, and because of that the country (and the rest of the world) will soon begin to experience widespread outbreaks.

[Credit for the article from medical express here]

Thank you and don’t get the clap.

Back in the saddle again

After a much needed vacation [March 4 was  my final exam in the last class. March 24 was the first day of the new class], classes are back in session.  This term I am taking Patient Assessment usually a co-requisite to the transitions class I was in last term.  Last term it was ‘full’; this term I am in a class with 3 others…That’s right; we have a total of 4 people in our class.  Two of the four [including me] were in the transitions class in January…surely they could have found room for us…I’m trying not to be bitter.  I’m trying to look on the bright side, but it’s hard.  I just want to be done already.  I’m ready to move on.

Losing the kitty cat was hard, and while I’ll always love him, I have two new kitties.  Having them around has really helped.  I now have a black kitty that weighs about 5 pounds, is  5 months old, and full of energy.  I also have  a huge, sweet, orange tabby.  Skittish and shy; he only comes out at night.  He is a year old and is 13.5 pounds of kitty goodness.

I’ve started working on my volunteer project.  The place I’ve decided is a rehab center for women and children.  I’m wondering if its going to be too close to home.  Obviously, I don’t have children, but the rest of it could be me.  I could have easily ended up on the street.  I could have easily lost my job and my license.   It’s a fucking miracle that I never got caught buying cocaine or driving drunk.  It’s a miracle that I never hurt anyone else while high or drunk, and it’s beyond amazing that I never killed anyone at work.  So while I can relate, I don’t think that it’s a wise idea to let that skeleton out of the closet.  Not so much that I am ashamed of  what I did, but I think it’s probably smart not to advertise to my school or workplace that as early as a few months ago, I was still drinking a lot before, during, and after work and occasionally taking a hit of cocaine when the mood struck.  Not the shining example of a healthcare  professional, is it?

Classes have resumed.  I learning to love two new kitties.  I’m still dating my boyfriend, and I’m still clean and sober.  This is my life.

 

Lost love

I don’t talk about personal stuff too often on here, but tonight is a little different.  Tonight my kitty died.  He was a handsome beast of a cat–solid black and nearly 15 pounds of muscle.  His nickname was House Panther.  My roommate let him out when she went to get milkshakes from Sonic, and he was lying dead in the driveway with no signs of trauma or anything when she got back–maybe 15 minutes later.  He was still warm, but had already loss bladder function.  I listened for a heartbeat, respirations, and  bowel signs and nothing.  My roommate was freaking out saying we should take him to the emergency vet, but I said there’s no point; he’s gone.  So I sat with my boy for two+ hours in the 40 degree night petting him and talking to him like he was still alive while she dug a hole.  I buried him lying on a flannel pillowcase [that he loved to lay on when it had a pillow in it] with him favorite orange mouse tucked in his paws.  He looked so peaceful–like he was sleeping.  He barely fit in the largest shoe-box [knee-high boot box to be exact] I could find.  He was buried in the sunniest part of the yard [he loved lounging in the grass], and I’m going to put pavers over the area and make a little patio large enough for a table so I can always have him with me when I study.  He was my best study buddy.  Some pictures of my sweet, sweet boy…

One of my favorites: cuddled up in bed with my stuffed platelet

Enjoying a sunny February day [one of the last pics taken…two weeks ago, my birthday, he’s looking out while I’m studying away]

a cat and a second story window…

being mesmerized by the falling snow

Enjoying outside time playing in the leaves

hanging our in the tub; waiting for drops to fall

on the plains of the Serengeti [front yard], the mighty [house] panther stalks his prey

Sometimes its too much to ask to get out of bed

My study buddy…are you done yet?

Supplies and shit

Nursing school is not like majoring in science or liberal art or even graphic design.  You don’t get to go to the bookstore buy books and call it a day.  Books are insane enough, but it’s all the other stuff that goes along with nursing school than makes it just fucking crazy.  How do you carry all this?  I am in the minority, but I never take books to class unless the instructor specifically says “Bring your book to class.”  Why because those things are heavy and knocking my back out of alignment just isn’t on the schedule.  I do bring a lot of stuff to school, but I don’t go overboard.

The bag – I use a blue/black Swiss Army backpack that I have had for a few years now. It has traveled halfway around the world with me and I trust it.  It’s like an old friend.   It has just enough pockets to keep me organized [4 including a laptop sleeve] but not too many that I am constantly losing shit.  Some of my classmates swear by those rolling book bags aka carry-on luggage, but I have never gotten into them. I don’t like them in airports, and I doubt I’d like them at school.  We are in a 4 story building and you really can’t drag those things up the stairs.  [Our building has one elevator and it is the SLOWEST elevator in the history of elevators.  I think it has minions in the basement that lift and lower it]

Comfortable, white shoes, preferably all leather – Yes. I know. Leather is cruel and save the whales and free love or whatever but guess what? It is also cleanable. Faux-leather is acceptable.
Make sure the shoe is closed-toe and closed-heel. And none of those vent-hole things like you see with CROCs. Trust me on this. When the shit hits the fan (or the floor), the last thing you want is for any of it to get on your socks and feet.
A word of advice about shoes: Hospitals are really dirty places. Hospital floors are especially dirty. After I got out of clinical for the day, I would usually take off my shoes before I got into the car (I kept a pair of Adidas sandals in the car) and spray them down with Lysol or use those Lysol wipes to keep the nasty bugs at bay. This is also why, when I got home, before I touched anyone, I stripped off the scrubs and changed cloths. After particularly rough days, I have done this in the car on the way home.

The stethoscope – You don’t have to buy the most expensive one, but do some research and try to buy a quality ‘scope. Luckily, I already have a scope or two and that will suffice for school.  Both are Littman by the way.  So unless you KNOW that you love cardiac stuff and want to go into cardiovascular nursing, there is no reason to buy the $200+ “SUPER-AMAZING/EVERY-OTHER-STETHOSCOPE-SUCKS-MAJOR-BALLS/CARDIOLOGY”-stethoscope…unless your parents/significant other/Sugar daddy (momma?) want to get you that for your birthday or Christmas. Just make sure they spring for the engraving also, because SAEOSSMBC-‘scopes have the tendency to walk off when left on the unit.

3-in-1 printer/scanner/copier – It’s great to have one of these. The printer is a necessity. But the scanner and copier just make life so much easier on you. If you hand-write your notes and want to share them with a classmate who was absent from class one day (because you are just such a nice person…or a complete sucker for a sob story), it is a great option to be able to just scanner the notes and email them.

Spare ink cartridges and extra printer paper – Odds are, if your luck is anything like mine, your printer will run out of ink at 1am the morning that your 15 page paper on renal failure is due. This will be a total inconvenience but not a catastrophe. You’ll drive to WalMart were there will be only 1 employee working in the whole store and he only speaks Turkish. After using various hand gestures and drawing pictures for the kind of ink you need (because of course none is on the shelf), he will inform you that they don’t have any of that kind of ink. And they won’t have any of that kind ever again…because they discontinued it…just to fuck with your world.
Don’t let that happen to you. Buy extra ink. And paper.

Jump drive/Jump stick/ USB drive – Essential. Gotta have one. I type all my care plans and medication sheets up and this makes it easy to carry it all with me. I keep it on my key ring so that there is less of a chance I will leave it plugged into a computer in one of the tech labs at the college.

Digital voice recorder – I’m not an audio learner but I know that these are pretty helpful for some of my classmates. They were able to download the lectures they recorded to their computers and put them on their mp3 players so that they could listen to them in the park while they walked the dog or in the car on the way to lecture.
Just make sure you have permission from your professor to record the lecture. Not all of them allow it.

Pocket protector/pocket organizer – Yes. I am a total dorkasaurous. But this little thing is the bomb for keeping all my pens, pencils, penlight, alcohol swabs and sterile caps nice and organized in one of my 500 pockets. Plus, the one time that I didn’t use it, I ended up ruining a scrub top with a leaky pen.

Watch with a second hand that tells military time (24-hour) – Calculating. IV drip rates. Measuring respiratory and pulse rate. Counting down the hours until you can go home and get some sleep. You’ll need one of these. Also, all documentation in the hospital is done by military time and this will make it a little easier.

Pen light – Okay. I have a confession to make. Ever since I have been in nursing school, I have had an unhealthy obsession with penlights. Seriously. I fucking love those things. And I buy them buy the half-dozen because I like having one in my bookbag, one in my purse, one in my clinical bag, etc. Don’t bother with the cheap ones, though. Buy ones that you can replace the battery.

Drug guide – I have the Pearson’s 2014 guide which is pretty good. Make sure whatever book you get come with an online version also. This is usually accessed by a code in the book. That way, you can copy and paste medication information onto your med-sheets.  Unless you have to write out those fuckers by hand.

Nursing Care Plan guide – I like Ackley. And for the love of God, stay away from anything Carpenito. I am sure she is a lovely woman but her nursing diagnosis books are simply useless.

A planner – Whether paper or PDA, keeping organized and on top of due dates, clinical times, and exam schedules is very important in nursing school (well…any kind of school). I swear by my Uncalender. It is has tons of space and has both weekly and monthly views. You fill in all the dates so there is no wasted months if you don’t buy it in January or August.

Highlighters – I am a highlighter whore. I have them in every color and I use them all. Color coding is the shit.

Black, clicky pens – All paper documenting is done in blue or black ink. If the pens are the clicky kind, you don’t have to keep track of tops.

#2 pencils – Ugh. Exams. Notes. Blah.

Basic calculator – Drug calculation exams will be the bane of your existence. Most schools require you to make a 100% on it to pass and only give one or two retakes. Scientific and cell phone calculators are not allowed usually.

Index cards – I buy these at Sam’s or Costco by the metric ton. Flashcards are a godsend and one of my favorite ways to study with a group.

Binder rings – I use them to keep track of my flashcards.

Binder clips – Way better than paperclips.

3-Hole punch – Most of my instructors post their powerpoints online. I always print them and carry them to class to add my own notes. A 3hole punch makes it easy to add to a binder.

Binders – I also have 2 for every class . I keep all my current notes in a 1-inch that I care back and forth with me to lecture. After I take the exam that those notes cover, I transfer them to a 3-inch binder so that all my old notes are in one place. This way, I can keep track of all of them when it is time to start reviewing for finals.
I am super picky about these. They have to be durable (Avery is my favorite brand) and the rings have to be attached to the back cover of the binder (not the inner spine). This way, when I close it, my notes don’t get caught and cause the back pages to curl under. (I hate that).

Sheet lifters – These are basically a triangular piece of plastic that goes behind all the sheets in a binder and helps prevent page curling. Seriously. That shit drive me crazy.

Caffeine of your choice – Coffee. Tea. Red Bull. No-Doz. Whatever keeps you alert.

Travel coffee thermos – To be able to carry whatever keeps you alert back and forth to lecture.

Lap top – This isn’t completely necessary if you have a desk top computer at home (does anybody have one anymore?) , but it is really helpful to be able to take it to the library or the coffee shop.

Lotion – You’ll be washing your hands a lot. My first semester, I had a huge problem with dry hands. Thank goodness I found Vaseline Intensive Rescue Healing hand Cream. It isn’t greasy like all the other stuff I tried and it has a really nice subtle, clean smell (The night I met WhatsHisName, I was wearing just this and no perfume. He leaned it and whispered in my ear, “You smell really good.” All I could think was “Really? Because I think smell like I have spent the whole day on a hospital oncology unit”). So yeah. The added benefit is that this stuff attracts 30-something-year old married guys. Use with caution.

Mints – Nobody likes to have someone hovering over them who has funky breathe. Since we weren’t allowed to chew gum, this was the next best thing. If you get really strong mints (like Altoids), they have the added benefit that they overwhelm your senses and make unpleasant smells more bearable.

Your nursing ID badge and holder – Not only is this part of your clinical uniform but if security at your hospital is tight (especially for psych rotations) they might not let you in without it.

Lip balm – You might be so busy that you don’t drink enough water and end up getting dry or chapped lips. Burt’s Bees(original) or EOS (Lemon drop or Honeysuckle Honeydew) are my personal favorites.

Hair clips – My school requires women (I say women because men are not allowed to have hair that falls below their ears) with long hair to have it pulled back and up off the collar. It also might help to keep a few hair ties in your clinical kit for those mornings that you are rushed and can’t do anything with it (that would be most mornings).

Bleach pen – For stains on your white shoes

Tide pen – For any non-gross stuff that gets on your scrubs or lab coat (like ink or some of your lunch).

Storage clipboard – Great for clinical rotations to keep your papers from getting lost.

Kleenex – If you are anything like me, during the first few weeks of school, it never fails that I get a cold for being around so many other people. Get a few travel packs and keep one in your book bag and one in your clinical bag.

Scissors – Gotta have ‘em. Plus, they are impossible to find on the hospital units.

Hemostats/Kelly Clamps – Honestly, I have never used these but they are required for my program. Normally, they are used to clamp foley catheter tubing to allow the urine to collect so that you can take a fresh sample from the port. I have found that curling the tubing on the bed pretty much does the same thing.
Also note that if you carry these around with you on a regular basis, people are going to think you are a pothead rather than a nursing student. The bloodshot eyes from lack of sleep will not help your case.

Hand sanitizer – I’ve said it before. Hospitals are gross. And this may shock some of ya’ll but they are also full of sick people. Sick people who have germs. And you’ll be touching them. Sanitize your hands. I like Germ-X Germ Blaster in Gnarly Green Apple. It is better than the stuff that my sites had in their dispensers. Plus it smells like apple martinis (who doesn’t like those?).

So you received your acceptance letter–part 2

More helpful advice from someone who received an acceptance letter a mere six months ago…

6.  Go grocery shopping  You will appreciate having food in the house during those marathon study sessions, and if you are feeling especially energetic, cook some meals that will freeze easily.  Then you can pull out something [relatively] healthy for dinner on those nights when time is at a premium.  I made three crockpots full of soup before starting school and froze them all in single serving containers prior to starting school, and let me tell you, those were a life saver for my busy days.  Pull one out in the morning before heading off to class, whip up a salad when I got home, and dinner is served. And I could eat soup and salad every day.

7.  Clean house and do laundry.  Because you won’t have time to do these mundane tasks later.  If cleaning is your stress relief, disregard this statement, and if you are really stressed, head on over to my house.  After 7 weeks of nursing school, and 6 weeks of full-time work, it looks like a bomb has struck my house .

A bomb has exploded in my bedroom

8.  Chill the fuck out.  Seriously.  Don’t pre-study.  You will study enough once school actually starts.  Don’t waste your last few months/weeks/days of freedom for at least the next three semesters studying about things that don’t matter.*  As I may have mentioned before, I hung around a lot of premeds in college [I was one of them.]  I even hung around students getting ready to start medical school [I was one of those student too], and I have quite a few friends who are currently in various years of medical school and without fail every one talked about “pre-studying”.  It was never my intention to “pre-study” anything for medical school, and it certainly wasn’t my plan to study anything prior to starting nursing school.  But I have classmates who talk about how they pre-studied prior to starting.  Usually anatomy and physiology.  These are the same students who incessantly talked about how ‘hard’ this section or that section is.  The same students who fought for extra points because the wording wasn’t the exact same in lecture as it was on the test.  The annoying ones…Chill out and don’t be annoying.

*Anatomy and Physiology DO matter.  It’s just that most likely whatever you do on your own will be shots in the dark.  However, if you insist, review cardiac anatomy and possibly renal anatomy.  We spent about 5 minutes on each during that lecture, but it was understood that you could either trace a drop of blood throughout the body, or you’d learn how to before the next lecture.

9.  Supplies are a bitch too.  If textbooks weren’t enough to make you want to revise your decision to go to nursing school, the supplies list might.  Once again, our bookstore sells a ‘nurse pack’…a black backpack embroidered with the school logo and Health Sciences/Nursing for more than $300.  To be fair, it does have a stethoscope, a blood pressure cuff, trauma scissors, a pen light, and some hospital supplies like IV start kits, trach suction kits, foley catheter kits, and a few other things that are needed for labs.  And then there is uniforms for clinicals…specific tops, specific pants, specific shoes, specific socks, specific underwear [ie can’t see it through the white pants], specific lab jacket.  It all adds up.  And that, my friend, is only the beginning.

10.  Get out of town…literally.  Go on a vacation…short-term long-term close by far away.  None of it matters.  What does matter is that you relax for a weekend, week, month before you start one of the most stressful times of life.  And school is stressful  even for laid back people like me…even if it’s just stressful because you like to procrastinate and bring it all on yourself.

So you received your acceptance letter…

Now what?

First I am going to assume that this was the goal, and not some strange accident.  Congratulations!  Enjoy it.  Tell who you want to [whether it is just a few or the entire facebook world]  Next, read the letter beyond the congratulations part.  Most acceptance letters require some action on your part.  I got mine at the end of October, and had a mere two weeks to send it back with a yes, I accept along with $100 deposit.  I had another two weeks after that to get a physical, locate all my vaccination records [and get vaccinated for what I couldn’t find], and fill out the paper work for a state [and perhaps federal, I forget] background check.  And since my program is for other health care professionals, get a copy of of my license and a statement from my employer [kind of like a reference, kind of like a verification of employment…this was tricky since I didn’t want my employer to know that I am in nursing school.]  OK…so you’ve done what you have to do to make sure they don’t give your seat away, now what?

1.  Celebrate.  Seriously.  Getting into nursing school is hard work…no matter what type of program you are interested in.  I live in a mini-medical mecca where there are two medical schools, two BSN programs, three ADN programs at community colleges, two LPN programs at community colleges, and at least two [that I know of] for-profit nursing schools [which I am not sure of their degree but I think it is LPN] all within a 30-45 minute drive of my house.  And every single one of these programs have some sort of weighted requirements and wait lists.  That’s a lot of people wanting to get in and that’s just in my little corner of the country.  So be glad.  You made the cut-off on some list and you are not a complete idiot.

2.  Get your shit together.  Make the arrangement you need to make prior to the beginning of school.  Transportation schedules at 6am [or earlier depending on clinical sites] may not be what you are used to.  You may have to juggle work commitments [or not work at all.  I still work full time, but I had to move my work days to Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays, 7p-7a…yep, it sucks].  Do routine maintenance before school start.  Car, house, you.  Give attention to all these things before school starts because while not impossible, it’s a lot harder to fit in an oil change for the car when you need to be writing care plans for class.

3.  Get your finances under control. ie…don’t by those shoes because they look cute and are on sale.  You won’t have time to wear them anyway.  Nursing school is expensive…not just in the form of tuition and fees.  Textbooks routinely cost $150 EACH.  Our school ‘bundled’ our first class books in a cardboard box.  The box weighed 32 pounds and cost $434.  I said FUCK THAT.  I have a friend that is a semester ahead of me and she gives me her textbooks. [I helped her a lot with books and tutoring while she was doing her pre-reqs and now I am reaping the good karma of that].  But seriously $434 for ONE class that lasted seven weeks.  Our school also has a uniform closet where graduating students can donate their school uniform for future students.  Every single school uniform I have came from either the closet or a friend.  I have only spent $25 on uniforms and that was for a pair of shoes.  If you have previous student loans, they will most likely go into deferment while you are in school.  If at all possible, pay the interest on these.  You’ll thank yourself later.

4.  Get your relationships under control.  ie…you  don’t have time for an on again-off again relationship.  I have been with my boyfriend for a while.  It’s been long distance, it’s been off, it’s been on, but it has been the best it ever has in the last nine months or so.  We are in a good place now, and I think it will survive nursing school.  But even then, there has already been sacrifices.   No more Tues/Thurs breakfasts…at least not the first seven week.  We talk.  We text.  We go to AA meetings together, but actual dates…no time for that.  My ‘friends’ are now my classmates, my co-workers, and my fellow AAs  [some of whom I wish I didn’t see on a regular basis].  These are the only people I see and/or talk to on a regular basis.  Is it perfect?  Hell no?  But it is what it is, and my true friends outside of these groups will truly understand and will be there when I have downtime.

5.  Fuck those fucking fuckers.  ie haters gonna hate.  Nursing school–like any other professional school–will be hard.  AT TIMES.  Not every minute of every day of the entire program will have you questioning your will to live, but there are some times that are worse than others.  If you listen to the horror stories out there, you’ll never start, let alone finish school.  Most people have no fucking idea what they are talking about most of the time especially if it is not first hand.  So ignore EVERY story you hear from anyone who does not have first hand knowledge of what nursing school is like.  You co-worker is a nurse and wants to giver you some pointers.  LISTEN to them.  Your dry cleaners’ cousin flunked out of nursing school and then became a chiropractor.  Don’t listen because that person likely has no fucking idea what he is talking about.  Also, know that the people who have a difficult time during nursing school [and any school really and I include myself in this] 9 out of 10 times, they do it to themselves [procrastinating…thinking they understand material when in fact they have only memorized facts…not recognizing at what point it is pointless to continue studying…not taking care of themselves physically…ect]  What it comes down to is you determine your own fate.

To be continued…

Before the beginning

I am wrapping up my first term of nursing school with a solid B/S…a B average in my transitions class and [S]atisfactory in Clinical Skills class [which was a complete and total waste of money…no assignments, nothing….I just had to register for it and pay the 1 credit hour fee].  It was a huge learning curve trying to learn to “think like a nurse” and do nursing interventions as opposed to what I normally do which while not the opposite, it completely different. But I think I am on the right track–even if care plans still confound me.

But this particular post is about what happened BEFORE I started nursing school.  It’s not something I talk about often or freely with the outside world, but it is a rather big part of my life.  WARNING:  content heavy

• 2010…graduate from university with a BS in Microbiology…make plans to travel for a year before applying to medical school.  Did in fact travel [It’s awesome.  If you ever have the chance to take even a month to travel…go somewhere and immerse yourself in an area and it will change you on some level]  While volunteering with a couple different health related organizations, learning new skills [like surfing and dancing–>ha!], I also experimented with cocaine.  And let me tell you, it was fucking awesome.  I could get SO. MUCH.STUFF.DONE.  Now, I am normally a very laid back person.  I rarely feel a sense of urgency about anything [I am still trying to decide if this is a good trait to have in nursing school].  I didn’t do it every day, but it was probably a once a week thing, and really– nothing bad happened.
• 2011…I came back to the USA in August, got [2] jobs in two different hospitals, and proceeded to study for MCAT.  I sort half-ass studied for a few months because I knew I wasn’t going to take it until the next spring.  I was working 4-5 12 hour shifts/week and on my off days I drank–a lot–of alcohol…about October/November I put it away and started studying for the MCAT in earnest.
• 2012…February–>my boyfriend’s mom died sending him into a deep, dark depression.  March–>I take the MCAT and miraculously score 34 [I still think there was an error in scoring somewhere]  April–>the boyfriend and I start drinking and doing cocaine together, and once again IT. WAS. AWESOME. [Fucking while high on cocaine is amazing].  We keep this up through September [managing to work me in a hospital and him at a clinic–>he’s a physician].  I get my AMCAS and AAMCOMS applications in and apply to six medical schools [4 in my state and 2 in a neighboring state].  By the end of October, I have three  interviews, and boyfriend is back into a depression.  We never officially break up, but there is definite distance [and since he was the principle buyer and supplier of my cocaine, I stop that for the most part, but continue to drink just as much if not more so.]  November–> have four interviews … December–> find out I am accepted to my second choice medical school [ 30 minutes away so I won’t have to move]  Holy hell, I am going to be a physician.  There’s really only one person I want to tell, but I can’t reach him and he won’t open the door when I go to his house.  December–>get thoroughly pissed off and decide to go to Europe….spend Christmas and New Year’s in England/France
• 2013…continue traveling around central/eastern Europe visiting Czech Republic, Poland, Ukraine, Slovakia, Austria, Hungary, Romania, and Serbia.  I didn’t do drugs, but I did drink nearly every day.  Meanwhile, back at home–> the boyfriend attempted suicide by overdose on New Year’s Eve 2012…and I. HAD.NO.CLUE.   I came back at the end of January and in the same week got a call from the boyfriend telling me he was in treatment.  Honestly, I thought it was for depression, not drugs. [He’s been clean and sober since January 1, 2013]  It still took a little while for me to ‘get it’.  In April, I got ‘fired’ from my dream job in the children’s hospital for ‘erratic behaviour’ [I honestly had no business working around sick babies and children; I can see that now], but I still had a job.  Whether or not anyone suspected drugs and alcohol, I have no idea.  No one ever said anything to me.  I deferred my medical school entrance for ‘personal reasons’ and decided as a back-up plan to apply to nursing school. It took me another month to seek out help for my problems, but I did and spend the majority of the summer working out some ‘issues’.  Later in 2013, I found out I was accepted to my local nursing program.  What to do?  I was still technically holding a seat in medical school.  Without thinking about it, I picked up a drink and ended 5 months of sobriety. And that pissed me off…that it was still that easy for me to resort to drinking when I had a problem.  Conversations with my boyfriend [the physician and the one who has 10 months more sobriety than me], my AA sponsor [who is a social worker during the day…medical people seem to stick together], and another AA friend helped me to decide to enroll in nursing school.  Not necessarily because it’s easier, but because I will have somewhat more control of my schedule. I also can take breaks between the RN part and NP part if I need to.
• January 2014…I began nursing school… just a two months sober…It’s hard…especially when classmates want to celebrate after exams by going out for drinks…especially when I have a friend/former co-worker who is in the class ahead of me [She has seen me throw down the alcohol so when I refuse is she gives me a look]  I’m not at a point where I trust myself in a bar yet so have to decline.  I’ve only had one period  that lasted about two days where I really felt overwhelmed and wanted a drink, and I handled it OK–not great, but OK…and I got through it  without pharmacological intervention.

On out first day of class, our instructor made it a point to let us know that drug and alcohol are the biggest reasons that nurses are suspended, lose licenses, or otherwise get into trouble with employers and state nursing boards.  I didn’t lose my license or anything, but I very easily could have, and my boyfriend DID get temporarily suspended.  I see what all he has had to go through [volunteer work, mandatory drug testing at random intervals, psychiatrist appointments, ect] and I realize that could have very easily been me, and if I don’t keep doing what I am doing,  it might be me [and I am poor…I don’t have the funds for all that].